Fun and Play for All!

Jago turned 5 on Saturday, and we had a party.

Much like his other birthdays, I invited his class at school, our friends with kids, as well as a fair number of our childless friends.  I invite people that Husband and I are close to, with a special emphasis on people that Jago actually knows.

Now Jago's first two birthdays were packed, and that was before he was even at school, but in both those cases he was kind of one of the first babies in our community baby boom, so I feel like people were still kind of checking out this whole kid thing.

His 3rd and 4th birthdays were almost entirely school friends, which was fine.  He had a great time, and certainly that matters most, though I felt a touch sad to not see more of our friends participating in my family's milestones.

Miela's 1st birthday had about 5 adults and only one kid guest.  And I must admit that did make me sad.  She certainly had a delightful time, but I started really strongly recognizing there's this thing that a lot of people don't seem to get, and here's the point of my post.

It is possible for an event to be fun for kids, fun for parents, and fun for childless adults, all at the same time.

I'm even going to say I think it's WONDERFUL when an event has these qualities.

I feel like a lot of adults make this big separation in their heads between kid stuff and adult stuff.  I feel like there's some notion that for adults to have a fun time there need to be opportunities for intoxication and bawdyness, and I think that's a shame.

Certainly I have enjoyed those adult aspects of parties before, but sometimes when I watch other people I feel like they're engaging in those things more because they're trying to prove that they're adults, rather than because they are genuinely having fun doing them.

One of my favorite things about Flipside and Burning Man is how much there is room for all kinds of fun.  There's plenty of so-called adult fun going on, but you'll often see children running around enjoying the weird just as much.

One of my favorite Burning Man images is from the year we were camped next to the kid village.  At the center of it was a giant trampoline, and every time I looked over there, I'd see kids bouncing up and down in their fairy wings and capes, the same gnarled hair full of playa dust like the adults had, and they were just having the time of their lives at this big place to play.

And see, that's my favorite thing about these Burn events: it gives adults an environment to play in.

One of my favorite Flipside memories is this past year's massive snowball fight on the field.  Or another great one was when the Beer and Darts crew invaded Ish, and it turned into a kind of ridiculous mock battle.

Adults remembering how to play is YES.  I do not think there is enough play in the world.

So back to Jago's party on Saturday.  Completely unexpectedly to me, a ton of our childless friends showed up.  It was a bit overwhelming, but such a delightful surprise.

There were adults gabbing away in the kitchen, adults playing with kids in the living room, and the roving band of miniature superheros battling in the backyard.  Adults talking outside, adults being silly in the dining room, children playing with balls and frisbees with various grownups.  A whole lot of wonderful.

And if you ask me, all of that is real community building.  I think one of the best things about being part of a community is having a place where you feel safe to play.

Certainly having people to call on in times of need or when there's work to be done is an awesome thing.

But mostly I just want my tribe to play with.